Remember when you were in junior high and there was that rumor going around (no, no, not the one about Danny Wood from the New Kids getting 3 gallons of semen pumped out of his stomach) about Whitney Houston having an affair with Kelly McGillis? And you, in your Gotcha! t-shirt and Brittania jeans, were all, "That pretty lady from Top Gun and the girl who sings 'I Wanna Dance with Somebody'? EW!" These days, you might not be so "ew", especially since Whitney's preference for the fairer sex might just be true. Only instead of willowy blonde Kelly McGillis, picture Whitney with a crack ho named Precious who gives $3 hj's down at the bus station. Yeah, you're welcome.
In the immortal words of Whitney herself, crack is whack! But that sure doesn't stop her from smoking oodles of it. And, according to her sister-in-law, Enquirer stool pigeon Tina Brown, constipation, hallucinations, and tooth loss aren't the only charming side effects that go along with Whitney's drug use–there's also rampant, uncontrollable cravings for poontang. Quoth the Enquirer:
Troubled singer Whitney Houston's alleged crack addiction has turned her into a sex-hungry fiend, according to her sister-in-law, Tina Brown.
Brown tells the Enquirer: "Whitney has a problem. She's got to have it. Bobby always tells me: 'If you only knew. She's with this one and with that one. It's no secret.' I've seen her with a woman a couple of times. They were walking around without their shirts on when I came in the house."
If softcore movies have taught us anything (aside from the importance of candlelight, intrigue, and Night Moves), it's that shirtless girl-girl socializing does not a real-life lesbian make. Maybe they're free and easy and eschew the antiquated, patriarchal idea of "shirts". Maybe they're trying on clothes. Maybe they're giving each other spa treatments. On their boobs. OK, that does sound pretty gay.
Lovely pictures of Whitney from her golden years are at MrSkin.com.
