CNW Junk Drawer: What a Luffoon

• Britney Spears. Her butt. Your face. (TMZ)

• No phrase sends quivers of ecstasy up the male spine wiener quite like "Kelly Brook bikini photoshoot". (Hollywood Tuna)

• Paris is suffering from ADD and claustrophobia. BFD, our cousin Cheyenne is suffering from impetigo and chronic fatigue and she's still in jail. (The Blemish)

• An improvement on that boring Sopranos finale. (Cityrag)

• Justin Timberlake was traumatized filming Black Snake Moan sex scenes with Christina Ricci. "The sex scene was pretty hot," he said. "I’m not going to say it doesn’t feel weird pretending to fuck someone in front of a man with a sound boom, though.” That would be weird indeed, and very unlike our usual practice of fucking a man from the front with his sound boom.(Derek Hail)

• Like a white trash phoenix covered in bong resin rising from a pile of busted lawnmowers, Federspears: the Union might be resurrected. (Hollywood Backwash)

• Anne Heche and Celestia lose custody of her child. Apparently, when it comes to parenting, playing video games and watching porn is still preferable to having a second personality who is the child of God and speaks in an unnameable tongue. Who knew? (A Socialite's Life)