CNW Junk Drawer: Two of Hearts

Mel Gibson takes his new Russian mistress out on the town. She’s not the same Russian lady named Oksana that was earlier claimed, but this one is still hot, in an odd, Stacey Q kind of way. (Yeeeah!)
Want to hear Julia Roberts say “tits”, “ass” and “fuck” about a million times? (Fatback)
Lauren Conrad is leaving The Hills. Well, see ya. (CelebWarship)
Heidi Montag in Playboy? Down, boys. No, literally. Down. Your penises. (Daily Stab)
Britney gets a permanent restraining order on Sam Lufti, which is kind of like erecting an electric fence around her. (Anything Hollywood)
Huge A-list star Pamela Anderson attends the opening of a strip club, much like your cousin Tammy after a meth binge. (Drunken Stepfather)