CNW Junk Drawer: Tell Me Hish Name, Doctor!

• You better vote! Or else Jessica Alba will devour your spleen. (Yeeeah!)

• Christina Milian upskirt. No labes, plenty of moundage. (Bossip)

• Britney Spears visits elementary school; gently lays boob on 4th grader's arm. (Cityrag)

• Megan Fox describes herself as a "man with a vagina". (Daily Stab)

• Diora Baird in Maxim. Thanks for photoshopping those nipples out, Maxim. We almost got turned on there for a second. (Derek Hail)

• Heather Locklear's DUI arrest was maybe a frame job! Dun dun DUN! (Bitten and Bound)

• Top 10 sexiest Keeley Hazell videos of all time. (Unibrow)

• Veronica, why are you pulling my dick? ME, and Martha DUMPTRUCK? Because I can be. Get crucial, she was dialing suicide hotlines in her diapers. Holy shit, we'll CRUCIFY her! Shannen "Heather Duke" Doherty spreads her gams and holds a bottle of cider over her poon for Details. (Drunken Stepfather)

• Jessica Simpson gives good blow-up doll face. (Fatback)