CNW Junk Drawer: Still Big

• Jessica Simpson gives herself a breast exam. "Are they still big? Yep. Yep. Still big." (Egotastic)

• Hey, ladies. Hold on to your panties and your cocktails, because Kiefer Sutherland is single! (Derek Hail)

• Tina Turner says that Beyoncé will never be rock n' roll. Oh yeah? Well guess what, Tina? You'll never be polka! Eat that! (Female First)

• Shania Twain has learned an important lesson: don't marry a straw-haired producer of bombastic rock music and live in seclusion in Europe lest straw-haired producer runs off with the manager of your Swiss chateau. Oh, that's a story as old as the hills. When will they ever learn? (Hollywire)

• Every part of Kristen Bell is adorable. Up to and including her wee booty. (The Blemish)

• The Hills's Whitney Port becomes Titney Port when she slipples nipple. (Drunken Stepfather)

• And speaking of Hills douches, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt get fingered. (Allie Is Wired)

• Ten Toys that Made You Gay. (Cityrag)

• Joss Stone explores another girl's dental work. With her tongue. (I Don't Like You In That Way)

• Gossip Girl's Blake Lively cavorts on beach with Penn Badgley. And one of them is wearing a bikini, but we won't spoil it and tell you which! (F-Listed)