ï A surprise appearance by Mick Jagger causes a near-riot at his illegitimate son's grade school. Right, like Brazilian 6-year-olds know who the fuck Mick Jagger is.
ï Most women look all glowy and happy and shiny and fresh when they're all knocked up. Gwyneth Paltrow? Ehhhhh, not so much.
ï Thar she blows! A hump like a snowhill! It's Britney, breaching and proving that yes, the Murphy's Mart Five and Dime off Cub Run Highway in central Kentucky does, in fact, have a swimwear line!
ï An Olsen twin with her right teat hanging out? HOW RUDE!
ï PETA urges our vice president to shoot Eva Longoria in the face. Yes, you read that correctly.
ï We're kind of grossing ourselves out over the fact that we think Avril Lavigne is suddenly utterly alluring.
ï Betty White. Naked. Eh, she's no Rue McClanahan.
ï Carmen Electra and Victoria Silvstedt fake make out, legions of dudes in fake tans and Gotti boy hairdos cream.
ï Not satisfied with adopting needy children from across the Earth, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt branch out and adopt a beautiful new baby from the planet Owens-Corning and debut their new child in all her rosy, fluffy glory in Paris. Congrats to the new parents!
