CNW Junk Drawer: RARE OOP JORDAN BOOBS BREASTS JUGS EMO L@@K!

Published February 2, 2006

Katie Holmes: putting the “tard” in “unitard”.
Penelope Cruz dons the itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow bikini, sans polka dots.
Reese was like “OMG I totes slept through the Oscar noms cuz I sooo don’t care, whateverrrrr, tee hee hee” and then Heath and Michelle were all “Oh like us too, that illegitimate baby of ours can be a real shit so we were catching some Z’s and like we got nominated and didn’t even know it cuz we are sooo coooool LOL” and then we were like, “shut up, asswipes.”
Elle MacPherson toasts her tater tots in the sun. Again. Plus bonus Kylie Minogue shots (maybe old, but those breasts look perfectly healthy and cancer-free to us).
Love is blind. Really, really, really blind: Zach Braff and Mandy Moore to wed.
Crazy, cardboard-colored, bewigged Jordan is going to update her tits, trading her 32FFs for a more “pert” pair, and selling the old ones on eBay (natch). “I’ve had them eight years now,” she says of her old pair. That’s like 48 in fake tit years.
Lisa Loeb ponies up a little bra to match the thong. Either she’s really desperate for attention or she just likes to show off her underoos. Either way, you have an erection.