ï Heather Graham's swan song of succulent sexiness. Take a look, then tip out your King Cobra on the curb.
ï Lara Flynn Boyle decorated her razory clavicles with flowers, tied some white ribbons around her prominent ulnae, rubbed some pink gloss on her colossal plastic lips, and got herself married. Mazel tov!
ï Nicolette Sheridan donned sheer hose with no visible pants (aka "pulling an Olsen"). Pauly Shore took a long, hard look. And pop went the Weasel. Groan, sorry.
ï Sienna Miller offers a hot new diet plan to impressionable teenage girls: just drink vodka! Oh, don't look at us like that. It's a much more heathful alternative than the Lohan "strawberry booger sugar diet" or the Nicole Richie "oxygen and carbon dioxide" diet.
ï Or maybe Lohan's on the "energy drink and pretzel diet", how the fuck should we know?
ï Your office holiday party hookup was indiscreet and regrettable, but at least no photographic evidence exists. Christian Slater and Sharon Stone's holiday jaunt isn't faring quite so well.
ï The beautiful, talented, and intelligent Victoria Silvstedt really really hates shirts.
ï We're glad Mollygood agrees with us: Adam Brody's Ian McCulloch hair is kinda hot.
ï Miss USA Tara Connor was nearly stripped of her crown after pageant owner Donald Trump got wind of the fact that she was drinking underage, failed a drug test for cocaine, and was making out with Miss Teen USA in public. When asked why he allowed her to retain her title, Trump said, "Are you fucking kidding me?"
ï Lohan castoff Harry Morton is now feasting on the pink taco attached to Kimberly Stewart.
ï K-Hole es no preggo.
ï Martha Stewart briefly dated Anthony Hopkins, but could not bring herself to cook him fava beans with a nice Chianti.
