ï Brittany Murphy's husband is Artie Lange??? (Bricks and Stones)
ï Lindsay says that rehab was a "sobering experience". You don't say. (IDLYITW)
ï Tara Reid in FHM looking . . . good? Oh, look, a flying pig. (Hollywood Tuna)
ï Charlize Theron is Esquire's Sexiest woman. Which is a nicer honor than being Esquire's Stinkiest Belly Button. Yeah, we're still bitter, Esquire. Screw you jerks. (Egotastic!)
ï Halle's berries are ripe for the fuckin'. Pluckin'! Pluckin'. (Derek Hail)
ï Kiefer Sutherland is going to jail. God, he is always trying to ape Paris's steez, man. Always. (The Blemish)
ï Man of God proves that Clay Aiken is not gay! By twiddling wieners with him. Or writing a funny letter. Which one is truth and which one is a joke? Find out on the next scintillating installment of . . . Gayken! (Celebitchy)
ï Everybody on earth knows that J. Lo's packin' mad embryo. (CelebWarship)
