CNW Junk Drawer: Harry Potter and the Underaged Bone

• Get a black snake bone. Look at Christina Ricci in a bikini. (The Blemish)

• Keira Knightley was attacked by a wandering expletive-spewer and lived to tell the tale. (Yeeeah!)

• Being the concubine of Marilyn Manson, Evan Rachel Wood is used to standing next to undead ghouls, so she looks right at home beside Mickey Rourke. (CelebWarship)

• Hilary Swank will gain 30 pounds for a movie role. Which is cool because we also plan on gaining 30 pounds, basically because Totino's Pizza Rolls are on sale at Safeway. Solidarity! (Daily Stab)

• Ay oh! Oh ay! Whaddaya doin', Samanter? It's Alyssa Milano naked! (Mr. Skin)

• Another male has willingly placed his wango inside of Star Jones. (Holy Taco)

• Daniel Radcliffe admits when he was a teen, his magic wand found its way into a cougar's Hairy Pooter. (Derek Hail)

• Holly Madison take a carefree swing, and tosses out some beav. (Drunken Stepfather)

• Lacey Chabert gives us a party of two. (Fatback)

• Katie Holmes has the knees of a three dollar hooker. Or that girl Tammy who was voted "friendliest" in tenth grade. (Cityrag)