ï Large billboards instructing Katie Holmes to make like a silent, slow-moving three-toed sloth arrive at the Cruisian birth chamber. Chilling.
ï And, according to the headline at FemaleFirst, she's about to deliver a bouncing baby iPod.
ï Pam Mamderson is getting a little long in the tooth, and realizes that it isn't proper for mature women to bare their breasts. Instead, they wear see-through shirts. How positively demure!
ï Star Jones babbles about her new boob job, Joy Behar tells her to shut her fat mouth, Star responds by calling Joy a bitch. Finally, a reason to watch The View.
ï With those new fake lips, Jessica Simpson really makes an excellent Real Doll.
ï Whoops, scratch that. Actually, Christina Aguilera makes the better inflatable hump toy.
ï Madonna learns how to . . . c'mon! Krump! Let your body move to the music! Krump! Krump! Let your body go with the flow!
ï Spawn of Affleck . . . revealed! Wait, where are its little horns, its eensy cloven feet?
