ï The fatcats behind Jessica Alba's recent movies have messed with perfection. They must pay. Oh, wait, they made her boobs BIGGER? Oh. Carry on.
ï Is Gwyneth Paltrow with child again? If true, congrats! And welcome, little Pomegranate Martin!
ï Lara Flynn Boyle's lips just keep getting more blown up. That's bad. But the rest of her anatomy is blowing up too, and that's good. Food is nice. And see-through dresses? Also nice.
ï Ghandi is the new Kabbalah! Not only did Tara Reid's tit shoot the wizened old fossil, his teachings are comforting Jennifer Aniston in her time of need. Sorry, Vince Vaughn: apparently, Jen finds nonviolence and the wearing of loosely-draped diapers far sexier than the likes of you, champ.
ï Jennifer Garner is having a baby girl. We guess that means Ben Affleck is having a baby girl, too. We have no opinion in regards to this information, so do with it what you like.
ï Courtney Love: dosed with acid at age four! Therapy at six! Porno at nine! Swearing off letting homeless men suck her cans outside of Wendy's! Stars: they're just like US! Only not. At all.
ï Damage control spins into overdrive! After being dropped as the face of Chanel, H&M, et al, Kate Moss has checked her bony ass into rehab. With the stink of scandal wafting off her, Moss will be lucky if she can land a deal as the face of Generra or Fashion Bug now.
