CNW Junk Drawer: An Elle of a Bod

ï If you're "board", Elle MacPherson in a bikini will make you whip up a batch of your own sex wax. Har de har. (Drunken Stepfather)

ï Someone give Renee Zellweger a part in Bridget Jones 3, stat. (Yeeeah!)

ï Paris Hilton rubs her nipple on a bear. (Egotastic!)

ï Madonna: arms of an ultimate fighter, hands of an ancient oak tree. (Cityrag)

ï Owen Wilson's funnyman exterior belies the coketacular pain within. (GlossLip)

ï Diora Baird stars in the upcoming film Young People Fucking. How cryptic. What could that possibly be about? (The Blemish)

ï Keira Knightley is all, "Being famous sucks. I'm ugly. Tits." (Daily Stab)

ï Fergie's got it coming out of both ends now. (Dlisted)

ï Not satisfied with ingesting nicotine the old-fashioned way, Keith Richards eats a cigarette onstage. Next up in is quest for a new buzz: ketamine eye wash and crack rock earplugs. (Seriously? OMG! WTF?)