CNW Junk Drawer: A Banjo, Some Clothing, a Gold Record

• Just a reminder: Jennifer Love Hewitt still has enormous bewbs.

• Those pictures of AI's Antonella Barba smoking some dude's dork are fakes. But weep not, for it will still be entertaining to see the shame in her eyes as she belts out some Diane Warren song tonight.

• When we see a headline about Paris Hilton getting impounded, we generally take that to mean "in the butt", not her car.

• Naomi Watts is 100% with child. You know Nicole Kidman is seething with jealousy.

• Cameron Diaz's butt cleave threatens to devour her bikini bottoms in one chomp.

• Wolfgang Puck serves up a hearty lamb-and-hepatitis stew to half of Hollywood.

• Dannielynn Has Two Daddies.

• Britney's problem might be post-partum depression. Solution: make Jayden James pay.

• "It was a dark and stormy night. One of my streetwalking employees just sat on Bruce Willis's face." Breathtaking prose from a former Hollywood madam!

• Kate Moss continues to show excellent judgment by allowing Pete Doherty to move into her home. He brought with him a banjo, clothing, a gold record, and a big pile of crack.

• Lohan's got the DTs. Or she's just scared, whatever.

• You'll have to wait just a little bit longer to illegally download use your working and legitimate credit card to purchase a copy of the Kim Kardashian sex tape.

• Anna Nicole might have died from being loopy! Oh, wait, no. Lupus. Lupus.