ï OMG, Jenny Aniston is gonna go on Courteney Cox's show and they're gonna KISS!!! The girl-girl spit swap is the surefire ratings booster of our generation, finally overtaking the "let's introduce a precocious child character" move. Basically, yes, we're likening Jennifer Aniston to Cousin Oliver.
ï Naomi Campbell pooh-poohs claims that she's involved with witchcraft. But her involvement with bitchcraft? Guilty as charged.
ï Paris Hilton exits a courthouse in a chaste polo dress . . . and although she couldn't resist giving us a little upskirt action, even the panties were innocent white cotton. Way to dress for success.
ï Tom Cruise continues his sartorial transformation of Katie Holmes from "fresh-faced ingenue" to "72-year-old Nan Kempner at the Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center Fundraising Gala". Also, her nose looks suspiciously Nicole-esque, suddenly.
ï Jenna Jameson and Paris Hilton relieving losers of their virginity. Best reality show idea ever? Let's call it Skanky and the Geek.
ï Cameron Diaz gets her post-Timberlakian groove back via a particularly flattering bikini. Feel the magic.
ï Johnny Depp's babymama Vanessa Paradis: man, that's some kinda smile.
ï Rachael Ray, always three steps behind the trends, attempts to ride Mel Gibson's/Kramer's coattails to racist remark fame and fortune; thinks Angelina Jolie is a "skanky, backdoor cunt". That's evil . . . or is it EVOO?
ï Screw the haters, we still approve of luminescent Mandy Moore and nice Jewish boy DJ AM, especially when they are sucking face.
