CNW Junk Drawer

- Tom Cruise is an old-fashioned kinda guy, and recently sat down with the parents of his paid platonic consort to hash out contract wedding details.

- Robert Redford: From lumpy to hunky in five short years! Twelve fab secrets for a comely mug inside!

- Madonna stuffs her bra!

- Clay Aiken is terrifying in a way that's, frankly, kind of mesmerizing.

- That's it, we're giving up on the TomKat jokes. There's no way we can beat Goldenfiddle at that game. We ain't even gonna try.