CNW: "I Said Impeti-Go, Go"

ï Hey, Amy. Maybe you should extend that liner to cover your entire face. (Flisted)

ï Eva Mendes gets a job shilling Calvin Klein drawers! Just like Marky Mark, only with more substance abuse and less wiggerliness. Same size boobs, though. (Yeeeah!)

ï Clip of Brit's appearance on How I Met Your Mother. Talking about shopping with Doogie Howser? Ooooh, that's fabulous, girlfriend! (The Superficial)

ï Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton fighting again. Fighting over Maddens. That's kind of like arguing about which Nelson brother is cooler (the answer is Gunner, obviously). (Celebitchy)

ï Eva Longoria's wedding tattoo disappeared. Maybe she used WRECKING BALM! (Daily Stab)

ï Eliot Spitzer enjoyed Charlie Sheen's sloppy seconds. Surprisingly, we're not talking about Denise Richards. (Bitten and Bound)

ï Jennifer Aniston is a dutiful flosser; probably has no plaque buildup in her ass crack. (The Blemish)

ï Punky Brewster has another daughter and names her JAGGER. We can't wait to have babies named Staley and Weiland and Stapp. (CelebWarship)

ï Pamela Anderson's famished vagina snacks on spangled panties. (Drunken Stepfather)

ï Nicole Kidman's bodyguard goes ape crazy on a paparazzo. (Holy Taco)