Please allow these links to tide you over until January 2, when we will be hangover-free and ready to devote ourselves to bringing you nipple slips and Tinseltown fetuses once again.
ï Mischa Barton got arrested for DUI and drug possession. Way to be Scrooges, cops. (TMZ)
ï Fergie is engaged! To a man, even! Flossy, flossy. (A Socialite's Life)
ï Jessica Alba is also engaged. Awwww, now her baby won't be a bastard. Cute! (Derek Hail)
ï Robin Wright and Sean Penn are not engaged, however. In fact, they are getting a divorce. Perhaps she finally got a glimpse of him in the cold hard light of day. (I Don't Like You In That Way)
ï Et tu, Brendan Fraser and wife? Oh, Encino Man, why can't you and your onion field hair plugs make love last? (Celebitchy)
ï The sirer of Jamie Lynn Spears's unborn doohicky might not be Casey Aldridge. It might, instead, be Kevin Federline. Juuuuuust kidding, it's some old dude. (Yeeeah!)
ï Gaze upon these photos of Nicollette Sheridan in a bikini and be revived. And then note sadly that Michael Bolton is the master of that body, and shrivel, groaning in pain. (Drunken Stepfather)
ï Sharon Stone trots out those nips for a trip around the block. (Celeb Warship)
ï Lindsay Lohan might as well face it, she's addicted to dong. (Egotastic!)
ï Leelee Sobieski. TeeTee Boobichesti. (The Blemish)
