CNW Blind Item #2: Buttbleach and Breakups

It's Friday, and most of the gossip is about Dawson's Creek playing grabass with Jerry Maguire. All the usual suspects (Bai Ling, Paris Hilton, we're looking at you) seem to have taken a holiday from letting their nipples slipple, so we thought we'd drag out this succulent morsel for you to masticate, gentle reader. Read, enjoy, be tormented by speculation.

Here's the skinny: He is a Hollywood legend, both onscreen and off. She is more small-time, career-wise, though her antics in the gossip rags might be considered the stuff of legend. The pair have been broken up for quite a while now, but the reason for their split has remained undisclosed.

Turns out that Mr. Big Time was displeased by the appearance of his young ladyfriend's heinie hole, and gave her an ultimatum: have that Hershey highway professionally bleached, or hit the road! After mulling it over, the ingenue went for it and returned to her man sporting a sparklingly pale pooper. Turns out her jokey beau was just testing her, and prompty dumped her for being such a spineless ninny.