The Hollywood Poop

CNW Junk Drawer: Minka Jeter. Minka Jeter. Minka Jeter.

  • Minka Kelly engaged to Derek JeterDerek Jeter makes 500 trillion dollars a year and now he’s going to marry Minka Kelly. And you guys don’t want Socialism? (Yeeeah!)
  • Jennifer Aniston nips out for Elle. Fashionably sharp, old girl. (CityRag)
  • Even Anderson Cooper can’t hide the vitriol when it comes to indulging Heidi Montag’s poppycockery. (Gone Hollywood)
  • Gerard Butler slapped a dog. And he liked it. The taste of its treat-tinged dog spit. (The Blemish)
  • Kirsten Dunst has been sinking her fangs into several 12-packs of Stroh’s. (Fatback)
  • Constipated and sober? Kill two birds with one stone with a beer bong in your butt! Dunst, take notes. (College Candy)
  • Miranda Kerr goes blonde; gets paid to hold a bottle and stand around. (CelebSlam)
  • Megan Fox as Catwoman? Naw, it’s just a rumor. Still, feel free to make that inevitable “pussy” joke here, if you are so inclined. (Anything Hollywood)
  • Britney Spears and Russell Brand VMA Awards promo video. We didn’t watch it. Why not? Just we’re just that fuckin’ cool. (Amy Grindhouse)
  • It sounds as if Avril Lavigne will soon be divorcing her troll-like Canadian husband, and he’ll be free to live under bridges and torment the Billy Goats Gruff once again. (Celebrity Mound)
  • Something for the ladies: Robert Pattinson shower curtain. Because there’s nothing like the glower of a handsome vampire bearing down on you when you’re washing your ass crack. (Allie Is Wired)

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2 Comments

  1. Posted August 27, 2009 at 12:54 pm | Permalink

    God bless Anderson Cooper. The man calls the kettle black, iron and heavy. Not what Heidi Montag is, but she’s not pretty, talented or entertaining either.

    As for the rest, I don’t actually care. (Course, Megan Fox as Catwoman would be a bad idea. Poison Ivy, maybe, but that would mean she would have to become a redhead and I don’t think she’d look great as a redhead. I could be wrong, though.)

  2. Matt C
    Posted August 27, 2009 at 8:35 pm | Permalink

    Megan Fox could only wish to have the kind of rack Aniston does. Or that playful sexiness Fox tries to emulate but ends up looking slutty.

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