Clay's Aiken for Men

To make up for the fact that our usual lead "sexy lady" story isn't very sexy today, we're bringing you this searingly hot webcam shot of the naked boobs of a famous soft-featured pop tart:



Pffft, those are totally implants.

Frankly, we are loathe to believe that the pic is the real Clay Aiken. Do you honestly think Gayken has the ability to grow such butch facial scruff? Perhaps it's a shadow. At any rate, even closeted American Idol runners-up with huge, rabid, teen-girl fan bases and impressive record contracts need a little sugar sometimes. The problem comes when said runner-up opts to troll for e-dong on the internets instead of keeping a few Thai houseboys under a strict contract/confidentiality agreement. Have you learned nothing from Tom Cruise, Clay?
Aiken has been extremely busy lately, what with touring and recording a new album . . . oh, and frequenting gay chat rooms online. First, he makes the mistake of sexing up a Green Beret, who then sung like a canary (Birdcage reference intended) to the media. Now, a transcript of Aiken chatting with/sending shirtless webcam photos to a gay teacher has surfaced in the National Enquirer. Reading the transcript of the chat session is like being best friends with an emotionally abused sixth-grade girl with severe body issues:

Source: you've never posed shirtless????? Clay: just need to be a little careful Clay: no Source: really? Source: howcome? Clay: no one wants to see this Clay: its boring and white Source: and sexy and smooth and lickable Clay: well you may feel that way Clay: but the only way youll see it is in person Clay: i dont have what you have to show off

The only thing to do now is sit back and wait for Clay to take a year off for "personal issues", record a comeback album, give a tearful interview to Stone Phillips in which he recounts these "dark, desperate days" before the nice folks at the Christian Heterosexual Retraining Institute helped him battle his demons, and then watch him marry a mousy, non-famous girl from a nice background in a well-publicized yet low-key ceremony. Meanwhile, we'll turn the chat transcript into a hit off-off-Broadway play. Everybody wins!