There is a very good reason why the world hates supermodels. Because someone like Cindy Crawford can be photographed nude in Allure magazine, and it's as if her shaving-cream-covered body is staring back at you, taunting, "Look at this. I'm 43 years old, and I look fucking awesome. Do you look this fucking awesome? No, I don't think that you do. I don't think that you have ever looked this fucking awesome. Pit 43-year-old me against 18-year-old you, and I would definitely win. And the judges would say, 'Get that disgusting young fatty away from Cindy Crawford. Its hideousness is distracting us from the utter perfection that is naked Cindy Crawford.' So suck it, ugly loser." But Cindy, she's not your typical supermodel. She has a sense of humor. As evidenced by her manhandling a loaf of bread? And getting her teeth brushed by a robot? Yeah, we're not really sure why exactly she's doing those things, unless it's simply to demonstrate the sexiness of bread tearing and robot teeth brushing. But then again, we don't really care. Because after the cut you will see Cindy Crawford nude but for a bit of shaving cream. Which is really all you need to know.
