We thought we were pretty good at predicting the next big thing. Back when Elaine was pitching the urban sombrero we were saying, "No, no, it'll be the urban poncho." But the latest celebrity trend just completely surpassed us. What are the hip kids doing these days? Why, admitting that they contemplated suicide, of course! Everyone from Tom Jones to Mickey Rourke is doing it, so you know this thing is going to catch on.
The motives and the imagined executions may vary, but one thing is for sure: celeb suicidal tendencies are hot! Here's the run-down. Tom Jones wanted to pull an Anna Karenina and throw himself under a train before his hit "It's Not Unusual" broke. Mickey Rourke was so messed up on the drugs that he claims, "If I wasn't Catholic I would have blown my brains out." Brooke Shields was so depressed when she didn't want to hold her newborn daughter that she wanted to jump out of her window. Even that thought caused the depression to deepen. She said, "I concluded it wouldn't be effective because we weren't high enough. This upset me even more." But the award for the sanest reason to off yourself goes to Chris Martin of Coldplay. He thought it would help sell records. He said, "It's the only way to save this album. It would add that necessary amount of tragedy. . . . Commercially it would be a great idea to blow my head off." There you have it folks; the new Coldplay album is totally gonna suck! Oh yeah, and contemplating suicide is the new Kabbalah. Look for Paris Hilton's next grammatically challenged T-shirt to say, "I slit my rists once, but im ok now."
You can see Brooke Shields nude at MrSkin.com. But you can't see Tom Jones or Mickey Rourke nude. That would just be gross.
