You’d expect someone who willingly goes by the name “Brooklyn” to wear comically oversized Sally Jessy glasses and dream of one day having her taxidermy collection profiled in the NYTimes Style section, but not Brooklyn Decker. She’s a blonde beachy model in the classic mold of Christie Brinkley and Cheryl Tiegs and is following in their footsteps by appearing on this year’s cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. This issue used to be the stroke manual for every teenage boy without access to his dad’s old copies of Cheri, but now that porn is readily available to anyone with a computer, SI is trying to jazz it up a bit with some kicky, boob-free toplessness. As for Brooklyn, the wife of tennis player Andy Roddick, she says that being on the cover is the tops:
“It’s shocking and a dream come true! My mom cried . . . We’re all on pins and needles before the issue comes out, because the cover is something all the girls want so badly. So it’s nice for my family because they don’t have to stress about it anymore.”
A dream come true for anybody, really. When I was a child, my main dream was to grow up and have a bunch of mouthbreathing cretins jiggle their musky puds to my image. That, and to be an astronaut cowboy Harlem Globetrotter.
One Comment
I call DLCT errors : DISTINCT LACK of CAMEL TOE!!! Some monkey brained tree hugger has been at the photoshop again!