We don't usually enjoy giving publicity to lazy rich assholes who have no claim to fame other than where they've stuck their dicks. Yet we do it anyway. Just look at how many times we've mentioned Howard K. Stern. If a scary sci-fi future where everyone is dying of starvation is ever realized, he's the first one being turned into Soylent Green. Except then everyone who ate the Soylent Green would probably become total assholes. Anyway, today we must focus on a different breed of asshole, the young, cocky, Daddy-gives-me-a-million- dollar-allowance breed. Specifically, Brody Jenner.
People finally explains that Jenner was not dating Nicole Richie because he has a fetish for Gap Kids undershirts:
What was at the heart of the long-gone relationship between Nicole Richie and Brody Jenner? He was trying to get her to eat.In a dialogue exchange that is part of a profile of Jenner in the March issue of Details, Spencer Pratt, described as Jenner's "manager- slash- publicist-slash- agent-slash-stylist" says to Jenner, "Here's what you're gonna do. You're gonna start dating Nicole Richie. And you're gonna get that skinny bitch to eat, all right? You are about to become The Guy Who Got Nicole Richie to Eat. Process that shit, bro. You'll be, like, a fucking hero to America."
The plan, which was devised last August (just when Jenner and Richie did begin dating), was actually part of Jenner's scheme to ride Richie's coattails and become a more familiar name himself ñ which, as Details points out, proved successful, because here it is interviewing him.
And he just gets more charming from there. What we don't understand is how it's possible that Brody Jenner and Paris Hilton have not yet dated. Perhaps their super-asshole powers are too strong to come within fifty feet of each other. Their copulation might be capable of initiating the apocalypse.
Nicole thinks skinny is sexy at MrSkin.com.
