Man. We go away for a holiday weekend and SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED that we are finding it next to impossible to keep up. No, we're not talking about Heidi Klum discharging Sealbaby 2 from her womb or Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams procuring a marriage license, nor are we referring to Michael Richards apologizing to various sundry members of the African-American community. We're talking about the important stuff; namely, Britney Spears becoming LYLAS 4-EVA BFFs with Paris Hilton, and appropriately adjusting her wardrobe to reflect said status.
To see what happens after Britney moves that charming Playboy purse to her right, turn the page.
First up, HOLY MARY MOTHER OF GOD WOULD YOU LOOK AT THOSE TITANIC BAZONKERS??? Sweet fancy Moses on buttered toast, it's like she strapped two overstuffed ottomans (ottomen?) to her chest.
Although you can't really blame Paris for being compelled to reach over and grab a soft and smushy handful, look deeper into Paris's wonky eyes and you'll see cold, hard, calculated scheming there. Why? It's quite simple, yet quite genius. Britney Spears is the only major A-list celebrity Paris can get to stand next to her and make her look classy. She tried it with her sister, with Lohan, with Nicole, with Kim Kardashian, to no avail. She had a brief period of success during her brief friendship with Kimberly Stewart, but then Paris realized that entailed actually hanging out with Kimberly Stewart. Now, with Britney, she just has to say, "Yeah, that weave you bought at the dollar store is hot. Wear it. And you should totally put on these sunglasses I got for free with my order of crazy bread from Little Caesar's. Awesome. Now take off those panties! Hot. That's hot. Hot," and Paris looks like Princess Di, comparitively.
Oh, did we say "take off those panties"? We did.
Huh.
Hm.
Well, that's not really a money shot, is it? There is no actual vagina there. There is not really even a mound, per se. It's like a Fashion Jeans Ken doll, only with less of a lump and more of a manufactured plasticine shine. It's a rich mystery, Britney Spears's waxed crotchial region is.
Britney. Always hot at MrSkin.com.
And perhaps you should peruse some Paris while you're there.
