Britney is mad as hell and she's not gonna take it anymore! All this talk about her maybe carrying a litter and about Kev's possible Vegas indiscretions has sufficiently steamed our Briterline to the boiling point. You've given her no choice–the only thing she can do is sit down in front of the computer and peck out another famed Letter of Truthô. Oooh, take that, tabloids! You got SERVED!
On her official website, our very favorite subject channeled her anger and turned it into glimmering prose. We read, we wept, we repented:
Dear False Tabloids,
As you read this letter, I bet you are asking yourself: Who? Who, me? Am I a false tabloid? Well, I donít know. But after this posting, I hope you are asking yourself a lot of questions. Your employees are a reflection of your magazine. Do you, Us Weekly, In Touch, Star and other desperate magazines want employees who are honest, or those who are liars? It seems to me that youíd prefer the latter.
Iím really concerned about the people you hire to work at your companies. Iíd like them to ask themselves the question, ìWhat am I lying to myself about?î Is it that you are 50 pounds overweight? Is it that your children arenít making wise decisions? Or is it maybe that your husband or boyfriend is cheating on you? Until you face what is going on in your life, I guess youíll remain a false tabloid.
Britney
P.S. People Magazine is great in my book!
Britney, although we applaud your carefully-chosen words (we know from past forays into Brit Lit that she ain't exactly Wordsworth), we have to admit that calling your foes fat n' ugly losers errs a little on the side of sixth grade. But at least you didn't play the "you're just jealous" card. And the postscripted People shout-out? Well, I'm sure that certainly endeared you to my grandma. People is her favorite. After Reader's Digest, of course.
Look! It's Britney Spears's Nude Review at MrSkin.Com. For serious, y'all.
