You've always wanted a window into the inner thoughts of Britney Spears, right? We've always assumed that they pretty much matched the outward thoughts of Homer Simpson, with lots of "D'oh!"s and "Mmmm, donuts" mingling with life's larger questions: "Do these pants make my ass look fat, or is the word Juicy just especially puffy?" "What do you think Justin's doing right now? I bet he's thinking about me and how much better I am at sex and stuff than that Jessica girl." "Is there a KFC near here?" But soon we won't have to imagine, as Britney has reportedly signed a deal to write an autobiography. Reports The Mirror:
Critics have been quick to write-off Britney Spears whenever her life has threatened to spiral out of control – but this time she's beaten them to it!The ink should soon be dry on a £10million publishing deal for the princess of pop to give a no-holds-barred account of her crazy career.
Brit, 27, has already been signed up by a literary agent and will put pen to paper following her sell-out world tour.
Our source reveals: "There have been numerous unofficial biographies printed about Britney, but she's never agreed to pen her own tome – until now. "And some of the stories she's got are absolute dynamite. She's kept diaries so there's nothing she'll leave out unless she wants to.
"If the deal goes ahead she will write between three and five books throughout the next decade – it's one of the most lucrative book deals in showbiz history.
"Britney will talk frankly about growing up and how she went off the rails. It'll be a gripping read."
We always assumed that Britney was much better at expressing herself through doodles than words. So while her diaries do probably contain gushing lines about how hot Kevin Federline's corn rows are, it's probably mostly Breakfast of Champions style drawings of twats and buttholes. Her own mostly. Her post-divorce cooter-flashing streak really inspired her creative side. (And, no, we're not suggesting that Britney has actually read Breakfast of Champions, or anything else for that matter, except for maybeóMAYBEóthe book she "wrote" with her mom, and that assumption might be a stretch. We're just saying that Brit really likes drawing twats and buttholes.)
