Britney Goes Old School With Boob Flash; Joan Collins's Claws Come Out

Britney Spears and Paris Hilton are no longer passing cleverly-folded 12-page notes in the hall, having sleepovers involving calling boys they like and hanging up, or like totally pigging out on Ruffles and fat-free Ranch dip while watching Shag: The Movie. A source told Page Six that

"Britney has been told by her people that if she ever wants a comeback, she has to stay far away from Paris and start acting like an adult."

And so far the plan is working like gangbusters! Instead of having coozular lippage flapping in the breeze, she's only showing full boobs 'neath a classy crocheted shirt.

X17 has a passel of entertaining photographs from one of Britney's recent party sessions:

The bared ta-tas and the body-fluid-esque stain on the cut-off mini are straight streetwalker, while the stripey highlights, kooky chapeau and the 1994 crocheted shirt say "Blossom Russo". Britney, you're such a bundle of contradictions!

In a semi-related story, Joan Collins slapped on her wig and yanked up her girdle, doddered out of her house, and joined Camille Paglia and Bette Midler in their public (pubic?) condemnation of Poongate 2006 with a barbed missive, according to accesshollywood.com:

Collins says it's "disgusting" how Spears, Lohan and Hilton are going out in miniskirts without panties, knowing very well that the paparazzi will take their pictures.

She says it's "really sad that young women today need to flaunt" their privates to get attention.

Collins says they've already shown "their front bits," so "where's it all going to end?"

Man. You know you've taken it a few inches past inappropriate when Alexis Carrington is calling you a whore.

Need more Britney? MrSkin.com's got you (un)covered.

And Joan Collins is there, too. Naked. The tramp.