Too-small camisole, hair smelling like three-day-old Aussie Sprunch Spray, tramp stamp, and a stranger yanking willy-nilly at the stained thong whale-tailing out of the sale jeans from Express. We know what you're asking. You're asking, "How did you get a picture of my cousin Cheyenne on $2 shooter night at P.J. Gator's?" Friends, that's Britney Spears.
We apologize for making Britney's cotton buns-splitter the Sexy Lady Story of the Day, but it's a really, really slow news day. And now that Lindsay Lohan is safely tucked away at Wonderland with nary a substance to be seen, we need someone to fill the void of "Party Girl Going 'Whoooo!'", and Britney, who seems unaware that she has two infants at home in a closet playing with plastic bags, has been stepping up to the plate like a real champ. Last night she hit Marquee in New York, and according to Page Six:
Britney was "partying like a college girl looking to get laid" [on Tuesday night].
[At Marquee] sources said she was dancing with her girlfriends and "demanded all alcohol be kept far away from her."
But other witnesses weren't buying that. "She must have been drinking secretly in the bathroom," said one. "Because she was falling all over the place. She was also chomping on lollipops from the bathroom all night. And she didn't leave any money for the bathroom attendant."
Spears' wild night continued at club Tenjune, where she was seen arriving at 2:30 a.m. with a group of friends. "Britney was completely hammered," said a witness.
Again, the tank top-clad party girl asked that no alcohol be put on the table – but clubgoers saw her dancing on the banquettes and "drinking what looked like vodka and O.J."
"A model guy came to her table and she started making out with him."
And lest you think the 1998-style thong flash was an isolated incident, please note these pictures from a couple of days ago:
You heard us.
You can handle the Britney that's at at MrSkin.com.
