Britney Spears Sex Tape: The Rumor that Won't Die

OK, here's the situation: My parents went away on a week's vacation. Wait, what are we saying? That was just automatic. What we meant to say was, OK, here's the situation: You're a lowly paparazzo trying to be the next big thing by catching another snap of Britney Spears's cooter when, miraculously, she notices your meticulously coiffed face pubes and takes a liking to you. Lucky for you, girl's in her loony-as-Daffy-Duck phase and doesn't notice you're a total sleazebag. And being such, you take advantage of her vulnerable state and tape yourself porking her. So naturally once you've been banned from the Spears house by a well-intentioned parent you start looking for new ways to make some cash. And, hey, lucky for you sex tapes featuring really famous ladies (or people who know really famous ladies like Kim Kardashian) make for easy money. Reports The New York Daily News:

Britney Spears' paparazzo ex-boyfriend has revealed he owns a sex tape starring himself and the former Mouseketeer – and he will sell it, if the price is right.

Adnan Ghalib, the shutterbug and former flame who infamously dated Brit during her breakdown, told Heat magazine, "There is such a tape, but I won't discuss prices for hypothetical enquiries. Unless there is a locked-in deal, I will go no further."

The alleged adult footage, which was filmed in Mexico, runs about two hours and features the singer wearing nothing but a pink wig, an unconfirmed source tells Britain's The Sun newspaper.

Of course, "sources" say there is no such tape, but c'mon. We all know it's out there. Whether it's with Adnan or KFed or Paris Hilton or a rabid coyote that wandered into her yard, there is some variety of Britney Spears sex tape somewhere in the universe. Only problem is, it's probably from a time in Brit's life when she was more scary than sexy, and watching it will probably make you sad. Unless of course you have no soul, then jerk away.


Britney Spears shows her sexy side at MrSkin.com.