Britney Spears Is a Sex Liar, Private Dicker

We've been on a bit of a Britney fast lately (no Spears posts for three whole days!), as it's always good to flush your system of anything deep-fried or drenched in butter in the days leading up to Thanksgiving. But like Paula Deen to a deep-fried butter ball, we just couldn't stay away. Not when there's Brit's teenage sex life to talk about, y'all! Plus, we can't help but be interested in a story that involves a guy named Reg. We blame our youthful obsession with Elton John. Us Weekly reports:

Britney Spears made a name for herself as a happy, wholesome pop star who was saving herself for marriage.

But lawyer Eric Ervin, who worked with Spears as a teenager, tells Us Weekly in its new cover story that the "virgin" image Spears portrayed was, in his words, a "PR blitz." In fact, Us reports in its new issue that Spears lost her virginity at 14 to boyfriend Reg Jones, and that she and Justin Timberlake were intimate from the beginning.

Something Spears also kept secret: Her family's tragic history.

Us has learned that Spears' paternal grandmother, Emma Jean Spears, in June 1966 committed suicide at age 31. Britney's grandmother, who suffered from depression, shot herself in the chest with a shotgun at the grave of her infant son who had died eight years earlier just three days after being born.

A local newspaper article obtained by Us reported at the time: "The shotgun had been pressed against the woman's chest and she apparently pulled the trigger with a toe of the right foot from which a shoe had been removed." The newspaper reported that Emma Jean had attempted suicide three times before.

Emma Jean Spears left behind four other children, including Britney's father, Jamie Spears, then an eighth grader. Two of Jamie Spears' brothers ended up with criminal records and homeless.

OK, the dead-grandmother and homeless-uncles bit is a little depressing, but it sort of explains a few things, no? Like maybe she picked up her fashion sense from her favorite hobo uncle. Or maybe her granny's suicide is the only thing keeping Brit from laying down some Louisiana justice on the paparazzi. And as for the sex thing, this proves that Britney is indeed a responsible person; she was having sex for nearly ten years before she had any babies. That takes some planning. Assuming she was putting it in the right hole.

So now we know that Britney liked dick young, but she also likes her dick private. Reports TMZ:

Britney Spears is on the offensive in her ongoing battle with Fed-Ex. We're told the popwreck wants to prove she's not the only one who screws up.

Sources tell TMZ Brit has hired a P.I. company to dig up dirt on her ex. One source says, during their marriage, Spears witnessed K-Fed smoking dope and drinking beer around the kids. Brit's camp hopes they can get the goods and turn the tables in the custody battle.

What's she hoping to dig up? That Kevin is secretly breeding children to star in his underground baby-fighting ring? Because at this point we don't think that Kev sipping a few Coors (or even slipping some into the baby bottles) is going to get Britney her kids back. Plus, we're kind of surprised she's even trying. Her interest in her kids is so slight, we'd expect Brit to hire a private dick to dig up dirt on her to present in court.


You know the drill: Brit's scantily clad bits at MrSkin.com.