Britney Mama Jama Drama Rama . . . Bomba Llama?

"Hey, Mom, thanks for trying to help me stop taking drugs and drinking till I puke and flashing my poon in everyone's faces. But you know what? I like drugs. And drinking. And puking. And my poon. So you can just f off, and here are the legal papers to make sure you can never talk to me or see me again. Love, Britney."

While X17 claims that Britney served her mom with a restraining order yesterday, TMZ disputes this claim (and they've got video!):

TMZ has learned Britney Spears gave her mom a present today — a lawyer's letter — and mom was none too pleased.

The video was shot in Valencia, Calif. this afternoon on a film set where Britney's younger sister Jamie Lynn is working. There are reports circulating that the papers are a restraining order, but TMZ has confirmed that is NOT the case. It is a letter from an out-of-state lawyer. By the way, Britney could not legally serve her mom with a restraining order if she was the one seeking it.

Sources say Britney feels that her mom turned on her in the days before she entered Promises rehab. She also feels Lynne Spears is not stable enough to be around Brit's kids because she may have her own "issues." We're told the letter bluntly asks Lynne to stay away from the children if she is taking any medications that would impair her ability to be around them.

We're also told Spears has become super-protective of her kids and is taking back a lot of the control that others were exercising over her life.

And because one bad mama begets another bad mama, the Fed doesn't want his kids to spend even half their time with Brit. People reports:

Kevin Federline's camp has resisted signing final divorce papers out of concern over Britney Spears's recent behavior, a source close to Federline tells PEOPLE.

Under an agreement reached in March, the pair ñ once they sign the documents ñ would continue their interim arrangement of joint legal and physical custody of their two sons.

"Britney's attorneys are anxious to see Kevin sign off on a divorce," the source says. "But Kevin and his lawyer Mark Vincent Kaplan are dragging their heels out of concern over reports of Britney's post-rehab partying."

Federline's camp, the source adds, "wants to make sure that the divorce document makes it simple enough for Kevin to downsize Britney's access to her kids the next time her behavior troubles him."

It's sad, really, that Britney once knew such deep love with both a mother and a husband and now it's completely gone. And both unions had resulted in such amazing works of art too, the likes of which may never be seen again: