Britney Spears: Couture Thief

And now we will update you on the details of Britney Spears's disastrous OK! photo shoot. Today's installment involves boob fondling and public peeing. Oooh, sexy!

Page Six reports:

Spears allegedly fled the shoot wearing $12,861 worth of jewelry, a $974 Vera Wang dress, $380 Lanvin heels and a $281 Pucci scarf. When the clothes she ruined are added, the total comes to $21,267.

The pop-tard "wander[ed] around babbling like a baby" as well as "fondling her breasts . . . as if not aware she's not alone," according to a post on LaineyGossip.com.

OK! says in the issue hitting stands today it's exposing the "dark side of fame" that Spears revealed at the shoot, where her behavior became increasingly erratic. The issue includes an unflattering picture of her leaving the set.

Spears "promptly banished everyone except the hair/makeup team to another floor in the house," according to OK! "Then, even the hair and makeup people were ordered out so that Brit's friends could do the job, using the equipment brought in by pros.

"The wardrobe crew was informed that the high-end selection of clothing just wasn't sexy. The items weren't short enough or tight enough."

Following a brief interview - after which Spears broke for lunch and rubbed grease from her fried chicken on the front of her dress - she "used the restroom repeatedly without bothering to close the door," OK! reports, adding that her "new Yorkie puppy followed suit by pooping on a $6,700 Zac Posen gown."

Britney is trying to teach us all a very important lesson: Once you've ruined fancy-ass clothes with chicken grease and dog shit, you best steal said clothes. It's the polite thing to do, because otherwise some poor minimum-wager would have to clean them. And you'll probably need something to fashion diapers out of once you've turned all the Huggies in the house into hair extensions anyway.

A Socialite's Life has some really blurry photos of the shoot, although poo and grease don't seem to be visible.

And MrSkin.com has a younger, possibly saner Brit.