Britney Spears Makes Lateral Move in Vagina Servicer Department

Unsatisfied with her lady flower only feeling the gentle rustling of stiff winds and the kiss of the paparazzi camera, Britney Spears has found herself a new man. And, well . . . hmmm. What can we say? His oily sheen looks a little less permanent than Brandon Davis's greasy glaze? At any rate, let's just hope that he's a little fertile than Federline. Or has at least been schooled in the fine art of condom application.

Yesterday Britney was caught kissing on the sparsely-bearded beau-hunk in public and he was later identified as music producer Jonathan "J.R" Rotem, who has worked with Brit's friends and enemies alike, i.e., Paris and Federjerk. (Theory: Perhaps J.R. intentionally sabotaged Kevin's recording sessions in order to sully Brit's opinion of her husband and win her heart. But that would imply that Kevin needed help turning his "dope rhymes" into a flaming pile of feces. So scratch that.) J.R.'s MySpace page brings us the following picture (among a bevy of other gems):

So naturally various thoughts ran through our head involving New Jersey, satin polyester, gold chains, waste management, and ten guys named Vinny. But then we found the following image on TMZ and the true mystery of Britney's new man's identity was unlocked:

Britney is actually dating David Silver!

Donna's gonna be pissed.

More photos of the happy couple can be found at X17.

And as always Britney can be found at MrSkin.com.