If you've ever wondered what was the lesser of two evils for a toddler's developing lungs: secondhand Marlboro Red smoke mixed with Dorito dust, or bong smoke, the answer is bong smoke. How do we know this? Yesterday, a California judge ruled Britney must hand over the brothers Federspears to K-Fed:
L.A. County Superior Court Judge Scott Gordon issued an order today stating that Kevin Federline, the boys' father, "is to retain physical custody of the minor children on Wednesday, October 3, 2007 at 12:00 PM until further order of the court."
Most mothers in that situation would be bereft, disrupting the court with her plaintive wails of "No! No! Not my babies! Don't take my bay-hay-hay-hay-bieeees!" and possibly tossing them in the car to transport them across state lines rather than face a life without them. Britney, on the other hand, handed them over that instant (she had until tomorrow at noon!), headed to a tanning salon, and then checked into the Peninsula. This might seem cavalier, even a bit cold, but perhaps young Britney is trying to express her sorrow via metaphors. Handing the children over immediately is her way of saying, "Let's get this hurt over post haste", tanning equals coloring her skin dark, to match the way her soul feels, and she checked into the PENINSULA–Britney is trying to tell us that her heart is like a peninsula: solitary, surrounded by cold, deep, inpenetrable waters. Except we can't decide what she was trying to tell us with her naked ass flash. "My ex husband is like a literal ass"? "Being without my children makes me feel naked"? "I'm a dumb shit who never learns to wear underwear"? Yeah, that last one.
Britney shows it off at MrSkin.com.
