Being famous and having a stalker must certainly be terrifying. We at CelebNewsWire do no encourage this sort of creepy psychotic behavior. That said, we're still going to make jokes about it, because we're awful people and Daddy never loved us. Hot MILF and relevant artist Britney Spears is allegedly receiving creepy letters and gifts from some random weirdo in Minnesota. According to OK! mag, via Yeeeah!, a source says:
ìThe first thing you see when you open the box is a huge, lavender, battery-operated sex toyÖ. and two [threatening and pornographic] letters. The handwritten one is on note paper and itís written in all-caps chicken scratch,î says the source. The [other] typed letter contains vivid, pornographic details of the writerís fantasy exploits with Britney.
The scariest item inside the package is what [appears] to be a picture of the sender ó a middle-aged caucasian male with stringy, greasy hair ó with the eyes cut out of the photo, in which he [is] squirting some sort of yellowish liquid into his open mouth. ìItís like something from a bad movie,î says the source. ìIf I hadnít seen it myself, I wouldnít believe it.î
Bad movie? No, that sounds like an awesome movie. An awesome movie starring Billy Bob Thornton lubing up his maw with I Can't Believe It's Not Butter spray and deep-throating a Jeff Stryker Cock n' Balls for his lady love, writing sentimental fan fic all along the way. Sure, to some people that might read "bad movie". To Britney, it's an epic romance to rival The Notebook. A real dong tear-jerker.
Britney shows it off at MrSkin.com.
