Britney Spears Deposed; Pregnant Virgin

This morning while you're sucking down your peppermint mochachino and looking at pictures of kittens (OK, vaginas) on the internet while avoiding work, Britney Spears is telling some lawyer types all about the Jim-Beam-to-Coke ratio in Sean P.'s bottle. And TMZ will naturally have roughly eleventy billion posts on the proceedings. Last night they informed us:

TMZ has learned Britney Spears will finally take the oath and have her deposition taken -- and it's happening tomorrow at 10 AM.

Sources say Britney will roll to the Los Angeles offices of K-Fed's lawyer, Mark Vincent Kaplan. Her legal team, which includes Anne Kiley and Tara Scott, will be there to raise objections -- and expect lots of them.

Those sources say the depo could last several days. Kaplan has been trying to get Brit under oath for nearly a year and he'll be asking a range of questions relating to child custody and, we believe, spousal support.

TMZ will present live streaming video of Brit's arrival beginning at 9:00 AM PT.

If the deposition goes as we expect it will (Lawyer: "What brand of diapers do you use?" Britney: "What's a diaper?") and Brit never regains custody of her kids, it'll just give her more time to piss off every Catholic in America. Page Six reports:

TALK about blasphemy - French producer Phillippe Rebboah wants Britney Spears to play the Virgin Mary in a new satire titled "Sweet Baby Jesus." The producer told Us Weekly he plans to shoot the film in March, and that Spears is "reviewing the script." Us reports: "Spears, 26, would play a pregnant 19-year-old unsure of her baby's paternity who goes into labor on Christmas Eve in Bethlehem, Maryland, as rumors swirl that the birth is Jesus Christ's second coming." Rebboah said, "I had to convince my partners, because they were like, 'Oh, no. Britney?' But I thought it was brilliant."

You know what we think is brilliant? Phillippe Rebboah's publicity plan. We're about as certain that Britney will never step foot on the set of Sweet Baby Jesus as we are that Jocelyn Wildenstein will never top a list of the world's sexiest women. But by toying with the idea, Rebboah has ensured that we've heard of his surely shitty and forgettable movie. It's genius and it's worked before. Who would have ever heard of Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights if it weren't for those rumors that it would star Brit and Ricky Martin?

UPDATE: Britney didn't show up for her deposition. Maybe Mark Vincent Kaplan needs to schedule the meeting at 'Buckies; she wouldn't dare miss that.