We were hoping to continue our trend of comely female celebrities wrapped in the string and tiny triangular cloth of bikinis today, looking succulent and oiled and relaxed and ready for any sort of action that might come their way, but all we found was Britney Spears. Sorry.
We kid, we kid. Britney looks all right, if you like bedazzled bikini tops coupled with 1994 navel rings, Tyrannosaurus Rex arms, and a face so saggy with Corona that it resembles a glazed donut left out in the sun. And God knows we do.
Honestly, it's not the bod we have a problem with but the styling. The most interesting accessory being, of course, the Federlinean man candy replacing wigger rebound of yore, J.R. Rotem. Now, we're no experts on designer denim, but is he wearing Britannia jeans? Let's move in for a closer look.
We choose to believe that he is.
Images via BreatheHeavy.com, via All Over Press.
Britney. Oh yeah. At MrSkin.com.
