We spent the morning combing the internets, culling stories about Britney Spears. Her former nannies finally–FINALLY!–speak out! K-Fed's got the babies! She might have tried to kill herself multiple times last weekend! Oh, we meant 
But then in our last-minute visit to TMZ, we found that all of these stories have to take a back seat to some breaking (again) news: Britney's back in rehab. At this point we just don't possess the energy or wherewithal to make another joke about this. Another day of this shit and we're going to have to take up our own hardcore meth addiction just to deal with all the Britney chaos.
So the Federline had an emergency custody hearing scheduled for this morning, which was likely the impetus for Britney's re-re-rehabbing, but now that's cancelled. In the meantime, Sean P. and J.J. are being cared for by Kevin, his mom, and Brit's mom. So that's where we are at the moment. If Britney doesn't finish treatment (probably 30 days' worth), she will most likely lose all custody of her kids. And we're sorry to step out of our usual heart-like-Mount-Rushmore, wit-like-Jim-J.-Bullock persona, but we're just saddened by all this. We want Britney to get better. We want her to be happy and stable and capable of loving her children and going to the gym every day and singing some nice Linda Perry-penned tunes. Only then can she be funny again. Because celebrities wearing zit cream in public=funny. Celebrities comparing their boobs to their knees=also funny. But celebrities being so drugged up that they try to get themselves hit by oncoming traffic=very very sad.
Remember Brit's good times at MrSkin.com.
