Britney Spears Buys a New Hot Bod

You've probably seen pictures lately of Britney Spears in a bikini and thought, "She looks hot, I'm confused." Well, be perplexed no more, little viking, girl paid for those abs. In sweat. No, no, no, we kid. In cash. According to the Daily Mail (via Celebitchy):

The mother-of-two, who eagerly showed off her slimmed down bikini body during a trip to Mexico over the weekend, is back to 9st [126 lbs] after the stress of her custody battle saw her tip the scales at 10st 4lbs [144 lbs]. Her expensive heath make-over included £5,000-a-month on a nutritionist and diet supplements, £4,000 on a personal trainer and £2,000 on a private dance choreographer.

A source was quoted in Closer magazine as saying: ‘She limits herself to 1400 calories a day with one ‘cheat day’ where she’ll treat herself. She also changed the way she eats, trying to have only two thirds of what is on her plate. It’s all about portion control and fresh food now. And lots of water in place of Red Bull.’

She has also taken on some of Victoria Beckham’s diet tips, eating plenty of steamed fish and snacking on edamame beans… Now, says the insider: ‘Britney is so proud of herself because her ab muscles are back’. She’s feeling better than she has in ages.’

Britney eating vegetables and drinking water? No, this is not right. This is not how the world works. The world works with Britney eating anything that contains Olestra and drinking anything that contains aspartame. We fear catastrophic events may follow if Brit continues on the path to health. Events like wildfires and earthquakes. Holy shit! Stop the beast! She's going to take the whole lot of us down with her! Feed her Cool Ranch Doritos and Diet Rite before she triggers the end of days!

More Brit bikini pics at The Superficial.

And Britney Spears gets sexy at MrSkin.com.