Britney Hates Weed; Loves Kevin. What a Dilemma.

What with her glazed expression, unkempt weave, mouthbreathingly slack jaw, and predilection for Dolly Madison products, we totally had Britney Spears pegged as a weed lover. Not so; in fact, she stopped her concert last night in Vancouver because she smelled some mary jane, and returned only to deliver a plea of pot abstinence, safe driving, and indecent exposure. Radar Online says:

(She) left the stage dark and empty from about 8:30 p.m. until 9:05 p.m.; at about 8:45 p.m., a PA announcer told the crowd: "Itís become uncomfortable and unsafe for the performers, including Ms. Spears. The show will resume as soon as the air around the stage is clear. The performance will not proceed until the air clears."

She returned to finish her set, but not before imparting a few words of wisdom to those in attendance: "Thank you Vancouver. Drive safe, don't smoke weed and rock out with your cock out. Peace out motherfuckers!"

Oh, hey, speaking of fuckers of mothers, Kevin Federline is one. Because he is allegedly tossing it into ex Brit again. Or so Star magazine says:

"It's like they're newlyweds all over again," a family insider tells Star of Britney and Kevin, who have been traveling together for much of her Circus tour. "Brit and Kevin can't keep their hands off each other! The flings have made them both a lot happier." Britney loves it when Kevin puts the moves on her, and she's making her own too, says an insider. "She definitely knows how to fan the flames!" But there's one rather tall issue standing in the way ó Kevin's girlfriend, 5'10 ex-volleyball star Victoria Prince, who actually caught Britney and Kevin having sex on the sly! Victoria "caught him with his hand in the cookie jar," says a source.

We're guessing that means she caught him with his hand quite literally inside Britney's vagina, which we can see being affectionately called "The Cookie Jar". Or "The Walk-In Frozen Novelty Section of Safeway". Or "Hershey Park". No, wait, that's her b-hole.