Britney Spears, Motherhood’s Pinnacle

You fear for humanity every time you walk down the Wal-Mart frozen foods aisle and see a 300-pound woman in an “I’m Too Sexy for This Shirt” tee smacking around her kid and yelling, “Get Mama some Hot Pockets, shithead.” But apparently that’s just good parenting, at least according to Britney Spears’s British fans. Says the San Fransisco Chronicle:

Britney Spears’ comeback is complete — she has topped a new poll to find the best celebrity mom.

And the singer’s fans have obviously noticed Spears’ efforts. She received a mammoth 74 percent share of the vote in a new poll by U.K. company Park Christmas Saving to find the best mother in show business.

Following in second place is Spears’ childhood rival, Christina Aguilera, who pulled in 12 per cent of the votes, while mother-of-six Angelina Jolie was in third.

What do you think pushed Britney over the top in this poll? Her encouragement for Sean and JJ to expand their vocabularies? Her desire to keep them close in times of crisis? No no no , it must have been her dedication to teaching her children real grown-up responsibility by asking them to fetch mama’s lollipops. Yeah, that’s definitely it.

Be a doll and fetch mama’s lollipops. They’re right over there on our Facebook page.