Lindsay Lohan's Sober Tits Would Fill out Playboy Bunny Costume Quite Nicely

How exactly is Lindsay Lohan going to celebrate her sobriety and release from rehab? With a nightly ritual of a bubble bath, a Dickens novel, and some chamomile tea? Or by getting half naked and strutting around a film set in front of ratturd director Brett Ratner? Our gossip sobriety coach, FemaleFirst, believes it's the latter:

Lindsay Lohan could play a Playboy Bunny in a new movie – if she stays sober.

The 'Mean Girls' star – who left rehab last week after a two-month stint for drink and drug addiction – has been offered the chance to appear in the new biopic of Playboy founder Hugh Hefner.

Brett Ratner, who is directing the movie, told E! Online: "She is very talented – if she is sober. She would be great as a Playboy Bunny."

Ah, we get your tack, here, ratboy. IF Lindsay stays sober she'd make a great Playboy Bunny. Meaning that IF she hangs on to her teetotaling titties she'd be perfect for the role. We may find the man utterly repulsive, but he's got his head in the right place. Lindsay – coke = large, luscious lactoids. Yay sobriety!