BREAKING NUDES: Sundance 2007, Part 1

We're sure you've seen the pictures of Tara Reid, wrapped in the hides of Thumper's distant cousins, traipsing around Park City, Utah, most likely trolling for diamonds. But the question is, has she seen any movies? We're guessing probably not, as Sundance-caliber films might alert her to the fact that her starring vehicles are only half a notch up the quality scale from a Tori Spelling made-for-Lifetime movie (well, maybe half a notch down), sending her into a shame spiral that would keep her locked in her room Howard Hughes style until about 2035. And that's a lot of Tara Reid mocking time we'd be missing. So let's just hope that she stays out of the screening rooms. Leave the movies to us, where we will spy the boobies of Heather Graham, Parker Posey, Vera Farmiga, and many newcomers.

It's been a few years since we've seen Heather Graham's crackers (and since just about nobody saw Emily's Reasons Why Not it's been awhile since we've seen her period), so it's nice to see her return to form in Adrift in Manhattan. Graham firsts shows her breasts at the one-hour-ten-minute mark in a failed attempt at sex with Victor Rasuk. Three minutes later they try again, and this time Heather shows her butt during a bit of doggy-style action then while Rasuk is spanking her. And for a final treat, we get one last look at her left breast post sex. Oh, and TV vet Marlene Forte throws in some right breast earlier in the film. You know, to even things out.

Broken English comes to us from writer/director Zoe Cassavetes, daughter of director John Cassavetes and actress Gena Rowlands, not a promising pedigree, considering Daddy's films rarely contained skin and Momma has shown nary a negligee in her long career. But Zoe managed to score skinthusiast Parker Posey for the lead, and even though Broken English may not be one of her best films, nudity wise, it doesn't leave us dry, with a glimpse of right boob at the fifty-two-minute mark. One Posey is better than none.

Vera Farmiga may not be as well known as, say, Britney Spears's shorn vagina, but she's just as uninhibited with the clothing. She's shown up nude in Iron Jawed Angels, Down to the Bone, Running Scared, and Breaking and Entering. She recently even made a bid for the big time with a sexy turn in the blockbuster The Departed. But what we're really interested in is her departure from her clothes, which occurs once again in Joshua at the thirty-three-minute mark when Vera stuffs her left boob into a breast pump. Oooh, Mammy!

We're guessing that this morning you woke up, downed a two liter of Diet Rite, took a pee, then thought to yourself, "What is Crispin Glover doing right now? I hope he's at Sundance promoting a movie he co-wrote, co-directed, and starred in. And I hope it has lots of nudity too." Well, you're in luck, because that perfectly describes It Is Fine. Everything Is Fine! Former Playmate Jami Ferrell supplies breasts, Carrie Szlasa displays boobs and butt, and April Hoglund antes up all three B's. Oh, and latter two show skin during sex with an elderly man with cerebral palsy--you know, just in case you forgot you were watching a Crispin Glover movie.

And lastly we've got a crop of newcomers to make you come. Weapons gives us boobs from Aris Mendoza, Phantom Love offers a dose of full frontal from Marina Choif, and The Night Buffalo gives us breasts from Irene Azuela, all three B's from Camila Sodi, and also three B's from Liz Gallardo. Oh, and the film also finds Liz peeing on Diego Luna. We thought we'd mention that in case R. Kelly is reading this.

You can find all these ladies at MrSkin.com. Why don't you start with Parker Posey? She likes to show off her flowers.