No, no, we're not literally breaking nudes, like Venus de Milo or nuthin'. We're just bringing you all the hot poop on the pretty famous ladies who are naked in movies that you will be seeing in the coming months.
Lest you think that film fests are for the coasts, fancy France-land, or Sundance only, rest assured that we yokels in the Midwest also sometimes will remove the nugget of Skoal from our cheek, put on our dressiest stirrup pants, and bear witness to the bare titness in brand new flickers. Take our hands and thrill to the following:
Nora Zehetner is a lissome little brunette who resembles a young Helena Bonham Carter, only without all the crazy. You might remember her from Everwood, especially if you have poor taste and lack cable. At any rate, this fresh little 24-year-old thing makes her nude debut in Brick when she shows a bit of nubile boobile putting her shirt back on near the end of the movie.
Cold Showers is a French movie. Therefore, it's not really called Cold Showers–that's what we respected film experts/linguists call the "English translation". The movie is actually titled Douches froides, and after we sniggered about that for two and a half hours, we noticed that a brunette newcomer called SalomÈ StÈvenin gets as naked as a lima bean and shows off every soft, glimmering nook and cranny on her body. The movie also stars the normally oft-naked Claire Nebout, but aside from a few bikini shots, she's content to let SalomÈ take off with the nudity baton. Or, as the French say, le baton.
Most exciting of all was the screening of Transamerica, which you may think sounds like it might be a zany, B.J. and the Bear-style road-trip farce, but you'd be wrong. There is a distinct lack of Greg Evigan; however the lovely and talented Felicity Huffman more than makes up for the abscence of musky, all-American masculinity–she plays a male-to-female transsexual. During several scenes in which she appears as a woman-playing-a-man-transitioning-to-a-woman, she shows a veritable shit-ton of bra-and-panty shots–some even with a faux weenis bulge! At the end of the flick, Felicity's character undergoes full sex-reassignment surgery, and she appears fully frontal in the bathtub to prove it.
Oh, and Havoc was screened (although it was only the sad and unloved R-rated version). Anne Hathaway and Bijou Phillips, as we've stated about 43 trillion times, pony up their respective racks but not much else. Listen, if you don't already know everything there is to know about Havoc, you lose at liking boobs.
Nora Zehetner's at MrSkin.com.
So's SalomÈ StÈvenin.
Claire's Nebout-y, too.
And Felicity Huffman? You bet your ass.
Anne Hathaway has an entry, for shizz.
And Bijou Phillips is as naked as the day is long here.
