Brandon Davis Wants to Be Carrot Top of Insult Comedy

Paris Hilton should just dispense with the nonsense that she has a birthDATE and declare an entire birthYEAR. That way she can celebrate turning twenty-six every single weekend for the remainder of 2007. And if we're lucky Greasy Bear will attend every single celebration, yelling out possibly offensive slogans at every passing celeb in hopes of regaining his Firecrotch glory.

This past weekend's Paris Hilton birthday party fared a little better than the previous weekend's Paris Hilton birthday party, with a few B-listers showing up. While this is great for the gossipers who love a couple boldface names, it's a tragedy for Nicky Hilton, who's relegated to mere family member. Poor unpopular Nicky. But the real story is Brandon Davis trying to cook up another skanky celeb bitch fight. According to TMZ:

Paris and her posse had a birthday meal at The Prime Grill in Beverly Hills, with party guests including Wrong-Way Nicole Richie and tatty boyfriend Joel Madden, a fuzz-lined Courtney Love, Brandon "Greasy Bear" Davis and wacky "American Idol" judge Paula Abdul. At around the 10:00 PM mark, according to Rush & Molloy, Greasy Bear got rowdy -- throwing flowers at Abdul, yelling "lick my [bleep]!" and telling Courtney Love "I want to squirt on you." Oh, the horror!

After ushering Abdul out of the party -- it appears she left early due to Greasy's antics -- Hilton publicist Elliot Mintz was seen talking to Davis, then mumbling, "It's going to be a very long evening" to TMZ's cameras, clearly aggravated.

Though Paris reportedly cried after the outburst, she appeared to be back in the party mood as she arrived to Chez Paris for the after-party. Courtney and Paula were no-shows, but Greasy pushed his sweaty luck and showed up -- though a security detail kept him separated from Paris for the rest of the evening.

The events didn't quash the friendship between the the blonde heiress and hyperhidrotic heir, as they were seen partying together again last night.

And now it's time to play "What did Greasy Bear invite Paula Abdul to lick?" Probability tells us to go with "balls," but we feel that Greasy Bear has a little more imagination than that. That's what a frat boy yells at you as he speeds by in his Jeep yelling "Whooooo!" Brandon coined Firecrotch. So what did Greasy Bear invite Paula Abdul to lick? His anus hair? His poop projector? His jizz cannon? Tough call, that one.

Mollygood has more pictures of Paris's semi-daily birthday celebration.

Celebrate Paris's birthday (suit) at MrSkin.com.