Brad Pitt: Lifesaver

Yesterday as you were walking through the Wal-Mart parking lot, bag full of Hot Pockets and a Sara Lee frozen cheesecake in your hand, you heard the screams of a small child. You looked around to find an eight-year-old boy trapped in a partially opened window of a Chevy Nova. And you thought to yourself, "Gee, maybe I should help the little bugger." Then you glanced down at the condensation rapidly forming on your melting frozen taste sensations and you thought, "Nah, somebody else will do it." See, this is where you differ from Brad Pitt. Well, this and the fact that he sticks his ding-dong in Angelina Jolie and you stick yours in a Real Doll. Yesterday Brad Pitt saved the life of a child. Seriously, man, that's heavy. Reports the San Fransisco Chronicle:

Brad Pitt played the hero at the Venice Film Festival after he helped a young autograph hunter who fell into a lake.

The actor agreed to sign autographs for a group of young fans on a boat on Wednesday when one teenager slipped and fell into the water.

Pitt quickly grabbed the fan and ensured he was safely back on the boat before signing a book.

Pitt is at the Italian festival to promote new movie "Burn After Reading."

Perfection, thy name is Pitt. The rest of you sad sack bastards, go eat a couple boxes of Coco Pebbles, because there's no point in even trying anymore. You should just let yourselves go.