Boobie Slights

Poor Heather Graham. When your much-hyped sitcom is cancelled after only one episode, after only being watched by roughly twelve or thirteen people (patients at a Lapwai, Idaho, psychiatric hospital with a broken rec-room TV that only picks up ABC), what's a girl to do? Slip nip, apparently. After the cut, see Emily's Reasons Why Not to Wear a Low-Cut Dress.

We're sure some of you people will be turned off and grossed out by these pictures of Heather Graham's aereolae peeping out of her circa 1991 Zum Zum prom dress. If the internet has taught us anything, it's that tubby, sweaty nerds have incredibly high standards when it comes to human females, and stretch marks will incite torrents of vomit to be expelled on keyboards in parents' basements across the nation. However, we would like to point out that Heather's striated bosom might mean that her breasts are actually, physically stretchy, like Silly Putty or bubble gum. Boobs are pretty neat, but if they had the ability to pick up the print from Sunday's Sally Forth, well, they'd be unstoppable.

Heather's Graham crackers are out and about at MrSkin.com.