BJ 4 T

The setting: Club NA in NYC's Meatpacking District. The stars: rapper Ice T, his freakishly stacked wife Coco, and a random brunette lady. The act: knob-gobbling. Come, little children, gather 'round, and you shall hear a tale so extraordinary that you will never look at Law and Order: SVU in the same way. Only this act had no victims, though it was quite special and involved a unit.

The New York Daily News reports that the alleged three-person pricknic went down a few nights ago under the tabletop of a banquette in NA's VIP room. According to a witness, T received some attention from the two fellatrixes in full view, and documented the act for posterity: "He was just layin' back, taking a photo of it here and there with a disposable camera. He seemed kinda halfway into it, and halfway business as usual." When asked about the incident, T's manager, Jorge Hinojosa, was quoted as saying "That's f– hot." Although he spoke from the heart and no one can deny the refreshing honesty of his statement, Hinojosa quickly spun into, well, spin mode, and later said, "I talked to Ice, and he said, 'That's bulls-. Show me some pictures!' So I spoke to Coco, and she said it's totally not true." He added, "It's just some club trying to play you for some publicity. Ice-T and Coco are not what you would call demure, so if this were legit, they'd say, 'We got a little buck crazy.' It's an attack on his character. There are so many suspicious things about this story." Totally! Like, how did two ladies get their heads bobbing in tandem under a table? I mean, didn't they bump their noggins? And "kinda halfway into it"? Come on now, that's just kooky talk right there.